Airing Dirty Laundry & Family
Tonight I talked to J about something that has been weighing on me for weeks now. Its one of those issues that has no resolution, it just sucks. I feel better though. I needed to get it out.
My siblings are coming this week. My sister gets here tomorrow night, my youngest brother Friday afternoon, and my other brother and his wife on Saturday morning. This is the first time we will be together without our parents in forever, as in it has never happened before this weekend.
Also I realized I have not posted any pictures of Rory on this site. Although since I never post, I don't think anyone actually ever reads it anymore. If anyone is out there, below is our
Flickr page where we upload Rory pictures every week or so.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8357434@N08/
A Completely Ordinary Day
Today was ordinary. I went to the see 1408 with Lance. It was a good movie, not scary, but sufficiently creepy to be worthwhile. Then I picked up Matt, we got some lunch/dinner and went to my house to hang out and watch movies with Nathan. Later Matt and I went and picked up ice cream. After movies, I drove Matt home. Sure doing this much socializing is odd for me these days since Rory joined the clan but all in all it was an ordinary day.
On the way home from my ordinary day, I started to cry. I couldn't help it, it was Sunday, it was girl's day, it was not an ordinary day. But it was an ordinary day, and that was sad, because Sundays are never supposed to be ordinary. They are now though, there is no more girl's day. I am short another girl - not any girl, Aurora. I'm short Aurora. So I cried. I cried becuase there will never be another Sunday girl's day. I cried because Aurora will never meet Rory and Rory will never have Aunt Aurora. I cried because I have been going through so much stuff and I have no one to talk to about it all. Mostly I cried becuase I realized that since Aurora has been gone, most days have just been ordinary. And as strange as it seems, all of a sudden I stopped crying. I started thinking about my daughter, about how happy she makes me every minute of every day, and I realized that she could save the world from ordinary. She could one day sing horribly off key, lick people's elbows, and make everyone smile and laugh around her. She could be the perfect companion for eating out, and for watching any movie, but most of all she too could be extraordinary.
That's when something extraordinary happened,
Total Eclipse of the Heart came on the radio. I started to sing, not my normal, somewhat quiet, attempting to be in tune singing, but loud, horribly and purposely out of key singing, where you use your hand to hold up a make believe microphone and just completely belt out every word as loud as you can. I looked over and realized people in cars passing me were staring at me and I didn't care. One day I will do this with my daughter. I will lean over and I will put my head on her shoulder or hold her arm and I will start singing to her, and when she looks at me she will laugh and join in. How do I know? Because she too will be extraordinary. How could she not be? She is after all Aurora Fae Pulley.
